~Sun-kissed-soul

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For all the Right ReasonsThe winds breathed a change.

She sat on the curb, cigarette resting in her fingers. The smoke twirled in pale grey ribbons around her hair but she didn't notice. There were too many other things on her mind. His smile, his laugh, his gentle touch, his disarray of hair, hazel eyes. His feelings for her.

She was taken. The sick twisted part? So was he.
But life rarely holds sympathy in situtations that are to be engraved forever in their path. This wasn't normal.
This she had known.

This was different.
There was a rush of passion and life when she just even thought about him. Just a glance at him caused butterflies to swarm frantically For all the Right Reasons

SometimesSometime's it's okay to let go.

No, no.
Not let go of something finally tangible in our shaking fingers. To watch it drift away into the stitched sky.
Or watch something not finished yet walk away through pained eyes and swallowed goodbyes.
It's different.

Sometimes it's taking down those stone walls that have surrounded our warmth until it was nearly gone. It's letting the tide of feelings wash over us. Letting it soak through every vein and fill every inch of our lungs. Careful. Don't breathe too deep; it may be hard to inhale and exhale what's been hiding.

The feelings that rise up like the shadow of a storm rolling in and engulf Sometimes

RemainI'll always be here.

Even when the rain is calling my name all night,
and when the wind is inviting itself in by knock knock knocking the shutters against the window pane.
When the collage of dark clouds howl and boom with their stormy laughter-
I'll be here.

I'll be here,
Even when the dim sky blooms to a cherry blue again,
and when the sunshine is singing to me through the morning I can't seem to sleep through.
When the grass tangles around my feet and the trees twist in my hair-
and the light dances off my smile that's waiting for you.

I'll be here,
Even when I'm feeling too far away from you,
and I hear the seething growl oRemain

A Thousand Blue SkiesSometimes I'm scared that I've run out of words.

That one day, I won't be able to explain the way my heart hides in my stomach when I think of him.
That there won't be a way to tell how he has a sun kissed smile that promises a thousand big blue skies.
And that maybe, there won't be any other way to weave my clumsy words into some kind of syntax in hopes I can make him understand-
That I catch myself reading his letters over and over because I need to hear his voice somehow.
That my favorite moment is hearing his heartbeat when there's no space between us.
That when he's fast asleep, the pale morning light dances around the way he'A Thousand Blue Skies

Not a GoodbyeThis isn't a goodbye.

It's a wonderful tear streaked memory of your dark hair and doe eyes in the summer sun. Your lanky limbs that I loved to wrap on to and drag you along with me on all sorts of adventures.
The small stutter in your voice when you got excited that first made me realize I didn't have to be afraid to hide mine.

It's a bittersweet reunion of me pushing back the guilt of not being able to know you were falling through the cracks in the floor. Of not being the big sister I'm supposed to be and not being able to hold your hand across thousands of miles.
Of praying to anything in hopes I'm not your only guardian angel out thNot a Goodbye

To my SisterPlease wake up.

Because it's always been my job to pull you out of the shadows when you couldn't.
And I'm sorry I just now found my wings, but what use is a guardian angel without them?

Please wake up.

Because I'm selfish and it's a race to bring you out of the muddeled dreams of us when we spent all night by the water's side.
And I'm sorry I couldn't tell you it would be okay- because you always listened to me.

Please wake up.

Because even though you're miles away, I know you can feel me.
Just like when we held eachother through the lacerating words thrown at us.
And I'm sorry this time I wasn't there to help you back up when weTo my Sister

I Need YouI need a revolution.

I need a voice telling me it's going to be okay, even though I'm being wracked to my bones.
A pair of hands to hold even though mine are blood splattered and tearing out my hair and clawing at my once flawless skin. Even though they're ripping me apart.
I need a voice that doesn't shake or stutter when emotions threaten to clutter my train of thought. Someone to speak for me when I'm too busy shouting something incoherent in the face of something that's just as stubborn as me.

I need an ally,
Someone to run beside me even though I'm barely stumbling along with broken knees and twisted feet. A shadow to follow so I kI Need You

I'll See You AgainThey can't keep me from you.

Even though the wind's tearing at my skin and I'm knee-deep in screaming gusts of billowing air,
I promise not to falter away in the sound.
Although the bird's wings are all snapped from the strength of it all, I'll risk being broken in half if it means hearing your voice one last time.
Even though the sound is shearing and howling in my ears, ringing so loud I'm screaming from the pain,
I'll fight my way through.

Although the blindness of the night stains my eyes,
I swear not to give up.
Even though it's darker than any night I've ever seen, and I have a feeling the dawn's not anywhere near,
I'll takeI'll See You Again

Cut OutThe whitewash was too bright.

She found it almost painful to stare at the stark walls that surrounded her. The clock ticked angrily behind her as the minutes passed. The shuffle of papers sounded like screaming.
"So let's talk about your intake."
She didn't reply.
"Let's discuss these nightmares you talk about. Are you in them or do you watch them?"
"I'm in them."
"I see. Now, Can you control them and are you aware you're dreaming?"
"Sometimes."
Her vague answers annoyed him. She could tell by the way his hands tensed a little.
"Okay well do you remember them?"
"If I didn't why would I know I have nightmares every night?Cut Out

The Star CatcherSleep never came easy for me. I wasn't one of those people who could lay their head down and succumb to sweet dreams seconds later. Nor was I an insomniac, laying awake for hours on end, eyes staring wistfully at the empty Ambien CR bottle.
No.
I laid in bed, pallid skin illuminated by moonlight that spilled in my room. I waited on the edge of sleep, too scared to tumble into the unknown void of darkness and bad dreams. Nightmares hovered expectantly over my half-consciousness, blacking out the spray of sparkling stars above. That was enough to keep me wide awake on the long summer nights that invaded my life with fairy tale wishes. AndThe Star Catcher

What I Need to SayI liked you.

I liked the way you always had to flip that black sheet of hair from your eyes.
Those green eyes that were like a sleeping dragon in the back of my mind.
I liked the way you'd notice the small things,
If I put some new French-named powder above my eyes to make them stand out.
Or if I had a band-aid on my arm. You'd ask how I got it and offer to kiss it better.
I liked the way you walked, chin up head held high
With that rigid sense of dignity you clung to so fiercely.
How about you let me go and stop yelling like a dumb-
I hated you too.
I hated the way you'd glare at me when I'd slip over a clumsy word
Or sayWhat I Need to Say

Bright EyesIf I could write
In simple words,

How're you in the wind-soaked breaths I drag in
Exhaling over trembling heartbeats and sweating palms
How that star-crusted face of yours is in the mirrored reflection
Of every longing, fluttering melody my violin heart sings

If I could speak
In tangible sentences,

How road maps, gasoline and this old car,
Or even the wings I've prayed for,
Couldn't bring me to you any closer
How I know that any distance between us
Feels like an ocean of separation

If I could explain,
In humble verse,

How all the falling stars, birthday candles, and giggling wishes,
All stretch across hiding places I'vBright Eyes

BeautifulSometimes I think of myself as beautiful.
When I cut my heart open.
Anxiously stringing the bits of myself so they weave their twisted way through my bones.
The fluttering pieces of me tremble like a silent bird behind the cage of my ribs.

I'm beautiful when midnight falls in its ominous hour.
Leaving me wide awake and afraid.
Frantically whispering to block out the broken lullabies that leave my dreams scattered on the floor in ripped bits.
My nightmares are strung by silver threads,
Dangling like the stars above, hovering over my pallid face.

I'm beautiful when the twin streaks of black slither from my eyes,
Tears washing awBeautiful

This is MeThis is me,
Staring up into the rain,
Letting it soak through the fear and anxiety
Watching my mistakes roll off my arms that are outstretched to something
I can't quite name.

This is me,
Whispering words of falling and love,
And weaving them into my sewn summer sky.
Knowing there isn't any way to put them into coherent sentences,
That you'd understand.

This is me,
Talking with my butterfly kisses and searching fingertips,
Murming with unspoken promises and laughter I've painted into my hands.
Speaking with denials of anything other than the good I see in this.
Singing with the velvet melody that I thread into lovingThis is Me

Drench my sunrises with gasoline,
Ignite them with the breath I've been holding back,
Let the flames engulf the spaces between words
That your broken promises lack

I'm the razor that threatens your throat,
The guilt that pulses in your mind,
The shattered and battered soul
That you chose to leave behind.

Cigarette kisses burn the places
Where I once thought you had my heart
And the singes your hands left,
Are the reason I'm falling apart.

Ripped of wings,
And robbed of flight,
I watch the scattered feathers fade softly,
Like the remains of this fallen night.

I lament to my paper shadows, peeled from the wall
And the worth ofTreason

Lost at SeaI'm lost at sea.

You drifted away from me like the solid ground I now need-
I feel the saltwater seeping into my skin, coursing through my empty veins with no more direction than my frantic search for you.
Coral scratches patterns into my back, etching and engraving with pain almost as dangerous as when I lost you.

I hear the vague snarl of thunder in the distance, and I'm wondering if my SOS is as much as a lost cause than chasing you.

But then again, it's not faith if you use your eyes.

Despite that, so many times I attempted to let loose of any bit of assurance,
And so many times,
I pried my eyes open, forcing my blurry gaze to meeLost at Sea

Although I Didn't NoticeI'm staring at the sky again,
Smiling into the azure canvas, pulling away ribbons of clouds with my fingertips,
Twirling them to spell that name again.
His name.
The sun's bathing my skin again,
Dappling me with memories I've already learned to hold onto.
I'm ignoring the butterflies in my stomach,
Knowing he's already taken me,
Stolen me away,
Piece by lovely piece.
Dashes of words sing as the dusk sets on my eyes,
Casting shadows on the cracks in my heart that are slowly healing into jagged lines,
Knowing he's another jigsaw piece that fits exactly where he needs to be.

My heart's fluttering again,
As I remember the sweAlthough I Didn't Notice

Give me a ReasonGive me a Reason

For why I should face the morning with half open eyes,
Clouded with sweetly broken denials of what dreams brought through the night
And for why I should leave the comforting warmth of the blanket draped around my shaking shoulders,
Threaded with memories of you and your touch,
When I know damn well the chill lingers so far deeper than my bones

Give me a Reason

For why I should count the constellations that my freckles make under the sun,
And why I fight the feverish singe that seeps into my arms when I'm fast alseep,
Bringing me to inhale the scent of Summer when all I want is Winter's dangerous sedative.
And foGive me a Reason

Delicate"Stop looking like you're about to cry." he snapped, rather annoyed at the way she cried so easily. The tears brimming in her eyes were grating on his already raw nerves. She bit her lip with weak determination, obviously choking back delicate sobs.
"You're such a pansy sometimes." he stated, a tad lighter this time. Her eyes flickered towards him, a slight dangerous glint in them. She took a deep breath that shuddered through her trembling frame and spoke in a shaking voice.
"You know, I've never understood that."
"Why you're a pansy?"
"No!" she narrowed her eyes, "The way sensitive people are referred to as pansies. It makes no sDelicate

Just so I Could Wish for YouScrawled on my arms are words that flow in my veins,
Their messy meanings hushed like the summer rains
And whispering faded poetry as I lay,
I'm just wasting ink on the words you'll never say
When all I wanted was you
Dandelion wishes linger through the warm air,
Fireflies speak of your love as a dangerous affair
Wishing wells echo with an empty saltwater sea,
Reflecting how hollow and vacant you left me
When all I wanted was you
Pull me down a star, twined with silver thread
And stitch it with fragile promises so mislead
Look up and away to the new awaking dawn,
Call it a mistake and simply move on
When all I wanted was you
Just so I Could Wish for You

.:My Lullaby:.Insomnia breaks my spell on wistful dreams
Held close together by forbidden seams

The answer to my exausted cry-
Your gentle voice, My Lullaby

Paper chains of nights and hours past
Dipped in moonlit shadows seemed to cast

An Uncertainity. Your apprehensive sigh-
The continued verse of My Lullaby

Deep city lights drowned by night
Tangeld, twisted and lost by sight

A melody of battle. A song of fight-
A shattered sound in this fallen night

Your whispered, faltering goodbye-
The final verse to My Lullaby.:My Lullaby:.

+Allow Me+Sugar coated promises to pass the time missed
Faltering into whispered words' resist

Painted breath to serenade the silence that survives
Alone and left counting the stars to save our lives

Lullaby tragedies lament in your shadowed mind
Singing: Your love is the battle of our kind

Eyes speak the abandoned secret-murmured with a lie
Watching as you turn your back on the tear streaked sky

Paper promises scrawled with blind endings of a heart
Allow me to catch broken dreams on their dead start

Take a bow, for all bets have fallen on you
From clouded requests that memories fade into

Reflecting sweet goodbyes of misted gleams
Brutall+Allow Me+

InsanityFranitc.
Desperate.
Grasping what's left of tangibility-
My grip is slipping...

A hazy mirror.
The reflection staring back-
Hollow eyes burning.
Distorted and broken, she watches-
Lips twisted into a scathing scowl.
Teeth bared, her hand trembles.
Clenching...

The mirror shatters.
Glass breaks with a splitting sound-
Its surface threaded with ribbons of crimson

Fragile shards of me.
Sharp and shattered, they fall.

Ripping. Tearing. Breaking.
The seams of myself pull apart.
And what was once dormant spills out.
Anger. Agony. Insanity.

Caught in the gaze of my glass-splintered, blood stained hands.
In those tiny fragmenInsanity

TimelessVacant eyes stare at that same dusty clock,
Watching the hands spinning widlly with senseless rhythm.
The echo of time passed throbs inthe stuffy room-
Paralyzing the hours yet to come

Dead on arrival-
The broken minutes mean nothing to those empty eyes,
The sightless gaze that watches with such tragic sadness.
Lines on the wall are carved in fleeting scratches, Marking the emotionless existence.
Boarded windows barricade the sunshine of life,
Chasing away the ghost of a smile that waits-wistfully behind the clock's cracked glass.
The whir of its hands race to beat the time that hands impendingly in the heavy air.
The mocking repeTimeless

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Comments

!projectvxn Dec 29, 2009

Love you gallery my dear.

Reply

~Sun-kissed-soul Dec 29, 2009 Hobbyist Photographer

Thank you so much!
I didn't really think people paid attention to my poetry, haha.
That means so much!

Reply

!projectvxn Dec 29, 2009

I pay attention because no one pays attention to mine. And if they do they never tell me what they think.

You're quite welcome though, you're a person of many talents.

Reply

~Sun-kissed-soul Dec 29, 2009 Hobbyist Photographer

Yeah, poetry doens't get much attention on deviantart. :\

Why thank you, love

Reply

!projectvxn Dec 29, 2009

Sometimes the stuff that gets the attention is so mediocre it hurts though..It's like all of dA has no taste in poetry or something..Leaving talented poets(Like you) out in the cold. So I do what I can to recognize good, solid work where ever I may find it.

Reply

~Sun-kissed-soul Dec 29, 2009 Hobbyist Photographer

Amen..
And thank you once agaian, haha.

Reply

!projectvxn Dec 29, 2009

You're very welcome my dear.

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